A rant for my country – 26/11/2009

I wanted to pen this down on Nov 26, 2009  but would you know…..shit hit the roof that day. I think, in one way, that’s what this rant is about. Anyways, that day I hit the IBN Live site to see news about how people were lighting candles and tear-laden eyes and all that. It just made me sick. It’s been a year and Kasab is still on trial. And people say he should get a fair trial unlike other popular notions of hanging him/ shooting him whatever. Oh yeah and definitely better protection from the terrorist attacks. That’s like saying that when a women gets raped, she should wear better protection next time. Jesus Christ!
I hate it when people say we are resilient. I hate it when people say we are all tolerant and peace-loving. It’s all a fucking lie. We have never been peaceful. We have always had our incredibly insane internal strife and murderous riots. I’m not talking about ULFA or the Indian Mujahedeen….no no, people on the streets slaughtering each other (Godhra, Mumbai riots, Babri Masjid, anybody?). The problem is that we are afraid about what other people think about us. We are worried of setting off some global discomfort against us. So fuckin’ what ? Think about those who have dominated the world ? The Spanish, the English, the Americans and then the Chinese. Guess who have always raised their diplomatic middle finger to the rest of the world. The next world power

More specifically, we are worried about the USA will say if we try to infiltrate their “bedmate out of necessity” Pakistan. Especially when the Pakis are helping USA on the whole Taliban front. Well, guess what? USA is rapidly losing its position as world leader/dominator to China. China now holds 24% of US securities…almost 772 billion. In our language, it’s called “got them by the balls”. Obama went to China and couldn’t get Hu to even change their currency value forget getting them to free float. China has more or less politely given US their diplomatic middle finger and continues to do what it wants. I’m not going to argue the merits vs. demerits of fixed vs. float. That’s not the point. But we are busy kissing US ass with the “Oh no! Don’t prevent offshoring” and the “oh! It’s bad business sense”. China just gropes and squeezes.
You think USA will all get their panties in a bunch about India’s military actions against Pakistan? Yes? So? The one country that matters…we’re already straining relations with them about Tibet and Arunachal Pradesh…It’s time to start thinking “Effective”
China does not float currency ? Effective. USA invading Afghanistan ? Effective. Atleast from the perspective of any more terror attacks. China’s military parade? Effective. China’s suppression of human rights and Tiannamen Square? Right or wrong? Effective. Only the China’s violation of human rights can be accurately judged on a moral compass. It’s just my opinion that we are just a fuckin bunch of intellectuals who are busy plotting India’s position on a moral map while wandering off course on every other map. Especially the “we have balls” map. I’ll be the first one to accept the requirement of morals. But at some point, the end HAS to justify the means. If we had struck  back during the Malegaon blasts and the train attacks, people wouldn’t fuckin mess with us at the Taj.
In Pavan Verma’s quite brilliant book “Being Indian“, one key theme was about how Indians naturally gravitate towards power. That really hit a nerve. What hit me again this time was that if we keeping gravitating towards power, that means we always look outwards for it. We are always looking for the next superpower. China just goes and assumes that position.
Recently, my friend was telling me about how China is taking over the construction of docks and army stations along northern Sri Lanka after the decimation of the LTTE. China! Not India! China is going to literally control entry into the Palk Strait.
I hate it! We are respected more for Pokhran I and II (and that was the time when people really took notice of our country) then as a “peace-loving nation”. Being resilient is ok the first time or the second time. Not 13 times in 5 years.

impotence and frustration

Septemer 26, 2009

Just saw the NGC show on the December 26, 2008 attacks. I will leave the rest of my thoughts for a post I want to make on the 26th.

Further, just read this post from Nussbaum: President Obama’s Asia Failure.

Interesting quote:

Obama came home empty-handed. He made little headway in his single most important mission—China’s revaluation of its currency, the yuan. A higher value for the yuan makes sense for the global economy, for the US economy and for the Chinese economy. But Obama couldn’t persuade Beijing of that because you can’t muscle your banker and China is America’s banker. And everyone in Asia knows this. You can feel the shift in the way people talk and in the way nation’s are beginning to accomodate China. Expect more visits from China’s growing blue-water fleet. Expect more Asian students studying in Chinese universities. Asian children are already beginning to learn Mandarin in a big way.

I wonder if anyone else can see the correlation between these two incidents – the December 26 attacks and China’s supremacy. One had a “Don’t you dare fuck with me” written all over it while the other had “Been raped, pillaged and plundered across centuries! Do come again! After all, Athithi devo bhava!” scrawled all over it. No points for guessing which one is which! I will obviously elucidate on this further when I feel like it…..right now, I’m just pissed

Uneven verses, Unfocussed thoughts

 

Credit: Lucas Janin

12 am in the night, I lay my head down low
The night closes in but the sleep is slow
It’s the time to turn over, close your eyes,
Pull the blanket up.  Hope it’s a good night.
But no! Insomnia and caffeine, they duel in me
I think it’s heriditary. Somewhere from my family tree
My thoughts flow like a gusher from the earth beneath
Trying to reel ‘em back but stuck in there like a leech
Is this me? Is my patience in vain?
Or is it the caffeine that flows through my veins
Not placid, not calm and def not smooth
Like rapids, and it’s vapid, like a moment of truth
A truth, the truth I cannot deny
I was born for this, to do this till the day I die.
Not writing prissy poems of yore
And definitely not spouting these words for y’all

Freedom came in the night of 15 <Thought that rolls through these nights>
Our country we decked like a bride, a queen
Our hunger, our pain, we zoned it out.
But I had to write this little lyric, what this rap’s about.
50 years independent, and what we’ve  been?
The smartest motherfuckers that this world has seen
But we’ve been too smart and we’ve been too keen
To drive the biggest fancy cars, that is the dream
But there’s no respect for the ones about
Who make the changes in the world that we can’t live without.

The poor, the hungry, the restless and oppressed <Second one; sick is this flow>
A billion hearts beating under a bony chest.
I look back and think what the hell would I do
If i took a million of these and I made a crew
A better life, an education to boot
I’ll take over the motherfucking world like a tornado
We would rule it with a middle finger to the hell that’d follow
What stops us? I wish I knew
Are we peaceful? Or is just we lack the balls
To heed the Chinese Premier’s call
“Hardware and software, together we can if we care
Change the axis of power in a new world order

But now the exhaustion creeps,
Frustration clouds my mind to point of sleep
Another time, I roll over and rub my eyes
There will thoughts like this on some other nights
the only reason that I wrote this rap
Can I really make shit like rhyme like phat?

Places to go….issues to close

Travelling has always been a passion for me. Whether it was to typically-touristy Mauritius or the at-that-time-unheard-of Cambodia. And now, finally as a propah vacation, I’m going to Hong Kong, Japan and China. A lot of people have expressed surprise that I would go to another fast-moving city for a holiday. I guess, it’s about the people and the culture that has always turned me on. I love listening to new, unfamiliar languages and traditions. I love listening to new thoughts on the same issues. I love different perspectives (especially those clash with mine). But this time , it’s not just all that. I need to take some time off alone and figure out my priorities both career-wise and personally.
I have been having this incredible uneasy feeling that I’m just not cut out for what I plan to do. The last year, while incredibly exasperating and taxing has also been quite an eye-opener in terms of my capabilities. I never thought I would be able to lead an entire team of people across a pan-India review for 11 circles. Funnily, I think that is the reason I took it up (talk about stretch targets !) I have been quite satisfied by that. However, my biggest weakness in terms of planning and indiscipline keeps coming back to haunt me. Frankly, it’s quite obvious to me that consulting is not my cup-of-tea. While spending 3 years in a consulting firm has been a vertical learning curve, it has also in its own sense been a frustrating experience not being able to get your hands dirty on the implementation. Instead, we write reports. Been losing my motivation quite a bit in the last 3 months wherein all I wanted was to close it all and get away. I have always been passionate about telecom and will always be. I dont see another single sector that has the potential to impact lives and incomes the way this sector has. I guess it has always been about impact rather than process for me. I think I’ve learnt as much as I could at this place. I was just counting out the cities I’ve been to in the last 3 years and it’s been incredible: Mumbai, Chandigarh, Delhi, Meerut, Kochi, Jaipur, Goa, Ahmedabad, Hyderabad, Indore, Noida, Sonepat, Gandhinagar, Kolkata, Bangalore, Pune and these were all on work! Countries included Sri Lanka, Mauritius and Cambodia with a possible trip to Bahrain in the near future.
I think what got me was a mail from the partner saying that there were good chances of getting the engagement renewed in the near future. Instead of considering it as a celebration, I just felt the wind go out of me. It’s then I realized that I need a break from what I do. This trip gives me that break; to sit back and really really figure out what I want to do with my life.
At a personal level, I have been commit-o-phobic. While easily a part of that can be attributed to my experience with Belle and my parents’ marriage (not the most compatible pair), I think I need to introspect to see whether I’m even capable of taking that long leap into the murky depths of the independence-sacrificing phenomenon called marriage…..like I said, commit-o-phobic.
Maybe this trip will raise questions I cant answer or give me answers to questions I havent been able to address yet. God help this basket case !!

PS – the travel brochure talks about shopping for stuff like jade statues, calligraphy prints and chinese handicrafts as well as electronic goods and stuff in Japan… Man ! I’m going to be so bankrupt !!